To err is human, To forgive divine..

Okay, I take my back my words. Maybe, I was just a little unhappy with certain blog users for a certain sensitive issues.

Albeit the fact is, for every one bad nut, there is a hundred good nuts to counter. But, guessing as humans, we need to be warm and forgiving. Recognizing that all human beings act foolishly at some time or another. Especially, when they take themselves too seriously..okay, im starting all over again.

Fact is, I was in a Gab War(for the umpteenth-time..), yester night, with a male buddy, he refused to cooperate, making fun of somebody else's physical attributes. I thought it was mighty mean of him. Since no amount of advise could reverse his stand; I blocked him from my MSN list.

A temporary triumph of victory..at least for the moment. Before I could think of a better alternative to approach this bugger. But, then again, maybe I was over-reacting over a micro issue.
Whence I was a child, I seemed to have this infinite amount of physical energy in me (which u might call, hyperactiveness; heard its a disease; when overdose. Me?Im just a common nut case..). My parents used to say that I had had a considerable list of Nutty-History that is worthy of converting into a Roll of Honour.

The most scary part of all, (at least for my folks)was when I claimed to having an imaginary possum friend(which i thought was a common syndrome among toddlers); whom I only played with, at odd hours. The last straw came about, when I insisted upon following this friend of mine, during the wee hours, to some place of hers. They had had enough and soughted help.

Thinking back, over the dark and twisted event; it still does gave me the shudders, wondering at length where I would have ended up would I have followed this pal of mine. But that still didnt end my idiosyncracies; only it turned less whimsical as I grow older.

I used to channel all these energies into good ole' sports during those high school days. Sometimes, taking 3 to 4 different kinds of activities and cramping my study and homework time. Weekends were never spared. With club trainings and competitions which I thought were endless.

Sleeping was scarce, so much so that I savor poly life so much which turned to some kind of a habitual routine for 3 whole years. Pretty bad, coming personally. The after effect: I was real badly burnt out by then, having taken more than I could bite. But, I am really thankful to god, that I was able to produced good grades during those 'O's, given such a performance, I felt it was unworthy of me.

It felt like a complete different person, those few unending recuperating years. Numb and unfeeling sometimes doing things at an impulse. Train of thoughts churned out mindless reasoning. I felt my brain wasnt functioning! Unlike, my high school years. Recovering, back to my essential-self felt such a drab. I knew I had to do that, to get my purpose back on track. I held on to the faith, if you believe in religion. (Alhamdullilah)The ordeal is over, but a new one is up to tackle.
Initially I thought, running away from a problem or even shunning it out of my mind would solve -- or even worse, things would turn out better.

I have yet to master the Art of Containment. But the mysteries of those past and how I had ended up here, seems to haunt me. Unable to let go. Now that, after a bit of soul-searching, hopefully I am starting to channel my active thoughts and energies into doing something constructive. Which, I would probably gain my fruits of labour from.

Its a painful process and Im only at the beginning of my journey. Sadly, as I thought to myself, my life has only begun. That which ended was just wilful dreamy pursuits of immature youth. Such is the rocky, multi-facets of life. One needs to plunge with heart and soul; giving out one's all. Mistakes learnt, perseverance to steel your nerves.

Failures arent final, but which is the very fundamental to spur ones to success. You need to steer your ship well, in the midst of the treacherous sea. Not against the wind, but with the wind; at your disposal. Like this saying which I have chanced upon: "Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him" - Aldous Huxley...only time will tell... :)